heya! it’s your pal piper/leo, and you’ve probably already noticed my slow distance.
to be cut and dry, i’m leaving social media! if anybody ever needs to contact me, my tumblr will def still be up and receiving notifications from. i just… im not happy here anymore, really.
theres just not anything online for me anymore honestly. people are scary on the Interwebz and i havent had a solid online friend group in honestly years; i feel pressured to do or fit somewhere and not to mention, now that im finally in a safe spot, i have so much trauma to process and the possibility of ptsd – hell, complex ptsd – hangs tightly over my head. i have so much to work through, im almost 18 with my whole life ahead of me… i just dont. feel happy having an online presence right now, or really at all.
im at a spot in my life where im going to be laying down the building blocks to what will carry me through a majority of life, and i want to focus on that in whatever way i can and be present in the moment that carries me… if that makes sense? i want to be happy with what happens, to live in the moment or whatever comes my way and to just, god, be /happy/. and the internet hasnt helped me, personally. its become more of an unhealthy way to cope, something to go on to avoid other issues or simply waste the day away when im stressed or having a flashback and… i dont want that. it just doesnt hell me personally, yknow?
and i want to, above many things, be completely comfortable in and with myself. i dont want to be pressured or shaped even SUBCONCIOUSLY by forces around me, which is HARD when im traumatized and terrified to make a move. im terrified my ex stalks my tumblr. im terrified to work on art and im terrified to be happy. i WANT to be happy again. i want to do things that service me again, that make me happy again, and for me personally, i believe this will be the best course of action.
to whoever is reading this thus, i love you. i love you all so much. i have so much love in my heart and to whoever is reading this, i love you so so so so so much and you are so lovely and i believe in you, with all of my heart, forever. to all of the friends i made, i love you so much and i wish everyone ive parted with only the best of luck and love.
happy new years, everyone. i love and believe in you all so much – every single one of you.
- piper / leo.
